Monday, September 14, 2015

Know Fear XO No Fear ~ Love Heals the Broken Hearted !

 I struggled with fear and anxiety for years.  Studying the written word, fasting & prayer, worshiping. . eating right. . exercising and any other discipline under the sun wouldn't set me free.  God's anointing would come and sooth coat and relieve my fragmented soul.  However, just as Saul's tormenting spirit came back when David put down the harp, so too the anointing of God will never be a substituted for your own wholeness and sanctification.   Religious disciplines can be as much of a coping mechanism as any other vise in life, to deaden, sooth or comfort emotional pain.  It can be used just like a drug.  I can testify of THAT.
       Psalms 23 says , 'The Lord shall restore my soul.'  The Hebrew word for 'restore'  literally means, to 'bring back my fragmented soul'.  Utilizing the imagination in prayer counseling along with stored personal memories of the past are links to help us revisit a place of trauma and fragmentation of the soul.  In revisiting the place of trauma through memories we can access and release  the stored emotional pain and resolve it in love and be healed.
       I wasn't conscious that my soul was  traumatized between the age of one and two years old for many many years.    My parents locked me and my twin in our bedroom while we were still in our cribs.  We would climb out of our cribs every morning to go into our parents bed to sleep with them.  For whatever reason my parents didn't want this behavior to continue  they locked us in.
      During a time of anxiety, more recently, I asked God to show me any memory that he wanted to heal.  After suffering for years with anxiety and emotional pain I became willing to try these techniques I learned in a Thriving Recovery Class called Restart and a couple other counseling/healing modalities.    I laid on the floor and closed my eyes.  The Lord showed me, in my mind's eye or imagination, myself climbing out of my crib with a diaper butt.  As I was in the memory I saw  Yeshua/Jesus sitting on my toy box in my bed room.  I climbed into his lap rather than heading towards the door which was locked in the past but this time I wasn't traumatized I went into the arms of Love.  It was natural for me to do this as Love is what I was seeking when going into my parents bedroom in the morning.    I sat in Love's arms for twenty minutes, while I lay on the floor during my meditation.  The most wonderful healing took place when my soul opened up and a suffocated one year old released a cry for love as he held me upon his chest.    I was comforted in his arms and he brought back my fragmented soul.  This took a whole of 30 min in prayer time.  I had a great emotional release and the lord brought back a part of my soul that had been  fragmented from the trauma of being, 'shut out of Love'.
      This is one example of a dozen or so encounters with the Lord of which I had a great emotional release and a resolve in love. After going through a divorce a few years ago I have been on a journey of healing my soul.  I carried around with me a lot of pain from childhood for many  years.  It took a lot of searching to realize how easy it was to be healed and to finally close the door to anxiety and fear.  The hardest was my ego.  Moving my  ego out of the way to recognize that I needed  to take care of some stuff in my personal life that I really didn't  want to be bothered with.
     Our minds rationalize out any reason we need to be healed.  We often just think that if we work on our thoughts or our mantras it will get better maybe even change.  My experience has been that when you heal your heart your life changes.
       I really enjoy reading books written by James. B. Richards.  Here is a quote taken from his book, 'Escape from Codependent Christianity'.
     "The medical profession is very quick to admit that a large percentage of the physical illnesses they deal with are stress related.  Stress is a non-measurable phenomenon that is created from a non-physical source.  In other words, it the product of the emotional life of the individual.  It is created from thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.  It is negative emotional energy that ultimately affects the physical body."  
      When we are young and traumatized our souls fragment for survival. The survival is for Love.  Our innate hunger for Love and the vulnerability of a soul not fully developed in it  can become easily fragmented.  A child when not presented with Love as needed to grow, develop and nurture will become traumatized.  The soul fragments for survival.  This allows open doors for a tormenting spirit of fear in the life of the individual. The scriptures says that Perfect or Mature Love drives out all fear.  As we allow our souls to open up to the perfect and mature understanding of Love we will become whole and hence a container to pour out ourselves as love to a hurting world.   We live in a imperfect world.  Many many souls have not received  the love they need to grow and flourish into a mature stature of love.    The promise of the Lord to 'restore' our soul, as the good shepherd, is calling out today to those who desire wholeness in this generation.  We have a  desire to attain our full creation and experience abundant living  in our present lives    Our  creation will  show to the world and the principalities (ruling spirits & demons of darkness) his manifold wisdom through our lives.  This will then bring about a revolutionary liberation in all of creation.   CG~

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