My name is Carol Gay (CG) Fagerhaugh and I am Gemini Scorpio rising. Please don't allow that to keep you from really being present here with me today. Our ascending signs can project on us a part of our personality, but not it's entirety and Scorpio rising can be intimidating if you don't take the time to know her.
I have always said, 'To know me is to love me' so for those of you interested in knowing me and who have the patience I hope that this blog continues to inspire and opens a window to allow that love to flow.
During the time my former husband was choosing to divorce me it majorly triggered daddy wounds that were an open door for fear and anxiety to torment me. I have had a life long struggle with fear and anxiety, yet I have been very pro active in 'taking care' for it not to destroy me while on my journey in getting to its root causes. It was during this time, a few years before the divorce was final that God really painted me into a corner to deal with these causes so I could be free from this torment once and for all. It is so wonderful to have your full functioning mind, will and body. Where when you want to go do something or make a decision even if it is to go out of the house or out with a friend you don't have anxiety draining your body. To be free of anxiety is also knowing that every night you go to bed you will actually have peace and rest as you lay your head on that pillow only to wake up to an energetic body and a dream to interpret.
Many people struggle with fears and anxiety in our day it even talks about a time upon the earth in the Bible called, 'the end-times', when people's hearts will fail them for fear. Fear affects the heart chakra / or energy meridian. I know this because of my experience with anxiety since I was a very young girl. I would go to bed afraid of the dark surrounding myself with walls of stuffed animals to protect myself from whatever was lurking there. My heart would race at times and I would sweat. There were seasons in my life when triggers stirred up those anxious feelings and it was very draining and confusing.
The one thing that really helped me stay healthy in the midst of confusing bouts of anxiety throughout my life was fasting. Fasting helped me to stay free of a variety of potential addictions that could help me cope with my anxiety yet were potentially destructive. I found fasting to be one way to completely escape my feelings of anxiety and keep my immune system strong along my journey of healing and discovery. Fasting did not permanently remove anxiety from my life but it allowed me to get on top of it and see what was really going on. It still took years of seeking and knocking to find out what was wrong and how to be completely free of anxious feelings. Most people take drugs to deal with their anxiety but these drugs only keep you from really being free from it. Anti anxiety drugs take care of symptoms of anxiety but shove the real reasons under the rug to fester and get worse. Every moment you put off soul issues and 'doing the work' that it takes to find out why you are truly anxious, robs you of life in the present to its fullest. Yes, we have to go to work and maintain relationships but all those things are disrupted when we struggle with anxiety.
I believe as a culture we have settled for less in regards to being free, all together, of anxiety and fear. After, finally getting to the root cause of trauma and fragment that I experienced as a young child I can honestly say that I have not experienced any anxiety in over five years. I have tested my life to see if it would raise it's ugly head again, and nope not a chance. The circumstances I have placed myself in moving back to California after my divorce were a prime testing ground. Despite many trying circumstances I have not felt anxious in situations that would normally cause anxiety in the human frame/ nervous system.
The biggest hindrance in overcoming and becoming completely free of anxiety is the ego. As adults we move farther and farther away from the circumstances and experiences that initially wounded us and fragmented us as children. I personally believe most of the reasons that allow fear and anxiety to rule over us happened to us when we were premature birth infants to about four five or six years old. However, when we grow up in our culture we experience such pressure to become something or perform a certain way that we never take the time to really visit our wounded child and allow ourselves to grieve and heal it's pain. The strength of the ego ( the set of performances of the unreal self ) is so great that it prevents and works against us from becoming mature in love and wholeness during the course of our lives. Many many people live their whole lives even becoming grand and great grand parents never experiencing wholeness or allowing themselves to live in that temporary state of vulnerability and brokenness to foster healing and it's completion. They therefore live a life that is incomplete and stunted and set the very example of this for their seed upon the earth. We have seen continual generations upon generations of brokenness and tolerated dysfunction within families and communities. When are we going to say it is ok to live a bit messy in love to bring about this transformation change of growth and consciousness into the fullness of our creations in the image of mature love?
My time in California is coming to an end soon. I am moving to the east coast of the united states. I have a spiritual family out that way that I have cultivated over the years from my earlier days in California (before the year 2000) and during the time I was living in the mid west. We hold similar visions to see people free from childhood debilitating wounds and trauma rise to bring about change in our lives, our nation and world. In times like these trusted communities are so important but hard to find. I believe at this time there are strong communities of people coming together to bring about a much needed shift in consciousness and manifestations of healing and abundant living many of us long for.
Please consider supporting me at this time during my move and settlement to a new and exciting destination in my life. I have self healing balms available at www.etsy.com/shop/shopnature and I also make custom beach glass and sea shell jewelry. Please visit my store and consider a purchase at this time. If you are interested in a custom piece of jewelry contact me through email or on social media IG or FB. carolgayfagerhaugh@yahoo.com Thanks CG ! XO
